OKay i'm off later - I'm home atm, but all alone. My hair is soaking - no ones contacted me for hours now, after the surge of early morning texts which interuptted a particularly bad dream about mark which promted a particularly bad awakening because guess who i was thinking of? Well i think of him every morning, all the time actually. Graham, another old love of mine, text me this morning, with Graham, i fell in love, like the beginning stages, but complications got in the way of a lot then i fell for mark - dear sweet mark. Okay i think i'm gonna recommend you all yet another song, I have this song called 'dreaming of you' by the coral in my head at the moment and anyway it's very fitting to this latest blog and how i'm feeling atm so i'd recommend you check it out. well thats if you want. I miss mark, heck i even miss Graham,Mark always seemed to have a problem that i liked Graham. I mean Mark knew i loved him don't get me wrong but he always was suspicious of Graham, particularly at the beginning - he never said anything but i knew, like with the little expressions which nobody else would have noticed because why would they? But i guess maybe Mark had a cause to be suspicious because i loved graham more than i loved Nathan but i loved mark even more than the other 2 combined, i'm well shot of nathan, he was an arse but i don't think i ever really got over graham, i just feel in love deeper with someone else ut i don't want graham now, he's an amazing friend and he's been so supportive since i split up with mark and i think the only time i've smiled today has been when I got that text from Graham. Mark still hasn't replied, i'm getting impatient but i don't think he will, i mean what would it acheive? which is what i should have thought of before i sent it in the first place i guess. Sigh. Life really sucks at the moment and now i really need to decide whether or not to stay in Cardiff next year at my 6th form or go to a college or a sixth form in Edinburgh where my father lives. I'm gonna try and decide by the end of next week i hope :( it's getting hard!!!
Camping later!! i can get away from the watchful eyes of my parents and then i don't have to eat - well so much people will still be watching but it won't be so intense cause they're not suspicious like the olds.